


IS SHE STRAIGHT, OR IS SHE NOT?? THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE YOU (no, it won't)

by tolkienguardians



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 02:31:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5399507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tolkienguardians/pseuds/tolkienguardians
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Musical/theater AU<br/>"dance captain- I’m one of the leads and you’re the dance captain, I keep forgetting my choreography in the giant sappy romantic dance scene, can you help me (again)??"</p>
            </blockquote>





	IS SHE STRAIGHT, OR IS SHE NOT?? THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE YOU (no, it won't)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starlightwalking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightwalking/gifts).



> happy holidays you complete nerd here's some gay fanfiction

“You are no help at all.” Kili stepped away from her older brother in defeat and headed for her bed.

Fili raised his hands defensively. “I’m backstage crew, not an actor or an extra. Besides, I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who actually knows your dance moves, besides the dance person.”

“Dance captain.” Kili sighed and plopped down on her bed. “Tauriel. I can’t ask her again.”

“Why not?”

“She’s intimidating.”

“That’s because you’re eye level with her chest and you think she’s really hot.”

Kili felt a blush creeping onto her face and tried to mentally stifle it. “Those two facts are unrelated.”

Fili gave her a smug, knowing look before beginning his argument. “Well, unless you wanna ask your co-star, who seems to-”

“Do not bring that up again. It was an accident.”

Fili shrugged. “Whatever the case, I don’t think Legolas really wants to go over the lovey dovey dance scene with you unless he has to. So you might as well practice with someone you think is attractive.”

Kili gave a long, exaggerated sigh. “I think she’s straight, though. I’m pretty sure she dated Legolas at one point.”

“Never assume. She could be bi, like you. It’s not ‘straight until proven otherwise.’”

“In our school? Yes, it kinda is.”

Fili rolled his eyes. “C’mon, it’s not that bad. Boromir-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know he’s ace--”

“--and Gimli-”

“Well-”

“--and me, and you, and honestly probably Legolas too--”

“That isn’t gonna convince me.”

Fili huffed. “Isn’t there, like, a kiss at the end of the dance?”

That caught her off guard. “I don’t- I don’t need instruction on that part.”

Fili smiled innocently. “She doesn’t know that. All you gotta do is wait for the end of the dance and then just go for it. If there’s a bad reaction, you just say you got caught up in the moment and apologize profusely and move on. If not, then bingo, you have got yourself a girlfriend.”

Kili stared at her older brother, then stood up and grabbed her coat. “Sometimes, I’m really glad you’re ace aro. You’re evil.”

“Those two facts are unrelated.” Fili mimicked her earlier statement with a perfectly level face. Kili shot a glare back at him as she walked towards the door. “No, seriously, though, Kili, I think she likes you.”

Kili turned around and regarded him impassively. “That’s straight-up ridiculous.”

Fili grinned at the pun. Kili smirked and headed for the door again. “It’ll be fine. I just have to… think straight thoughts or something.”

“You’re not straight. None of your thoughts are straight. But I guess you could… try to keep a straight face.”

Kili stuck her tongue out at her brother as she left.

* * *

Kili poked her head into the room sectioned off for dance practice. Tauriel was leading a group of extras in a routine, and she held up a finger to indicate she’d get to Kili in a minute. Kili walked over to the corner and stood awkwardly, trying to focus on anything but Tauriel. She knew from experience that she might start staring creepily if she let herself watch.

“All right, everybody, could you practice by yourselves for a little bit? I’ll be right back.”

Kili tried not to stare as Tauriel approached. _She’s straight. She’s straight she’s straight she’s straaaaaaiiighhttttttt...._

“Hi, Kili.” Tauriel smiled warmly. “What do you need?”

“Uhhh….”

_Be cool._

“Uh, not much. I… just wanted to see how you were doing.”

_That was not very cool._

Tauriel chuckled. “I’m doing okay. I could really use something hot at some point, though. It’s cold out, and the door’s really close and people keep opening it.”

“Something hot? Like me?” The words slipped out of Kili’s mouth before she could stop them. She tried to play if off as intentional, just a joke between two friends who were girls. _Sheeee’s straight. She’s **straight**. She’s straight...._

Tauriel laughed again, but it was soft and made Kili’s heart skip. “Yeah, you’re pretty hot.”

_Just... gals being pals._

“Actually, I was wondering if you could help me out with that sappy romantic dance thingy again.” Kili offered an embarrassed smile. “I just… I can’t get it right.”

“Wow, again? I’m beginning to wonder if you’re forgetting on purpose, just so you can see me.”

_Gal pals. That didn’t mean anything besides ‘I want to be friends’. Act straight._

“Let me just finish up with these guys, then I’ll help you out. You can wait in the back, by the heater.” Tauriel smiled once more before walking back in front of the dancers.

Kili discovered that the spot by the heater also offered a very good view of Tauriel dancing, relatively unobscured. She glared at the wall instead. _Straight thoughts. Ahem. Tauriel is such a good friend to do this for me so many times. She’s so nice… maybe I should take her out for dinner or something to pay her--nooooooooo. Um. I... should ask her about her astronomy club again. Her face just lights up when she talks about it. She really loves the stars, she’s so beautiful when she talks about them, I love it when she does that. I wish I could just hold her hand while she… thaaaat’s not a straight thought. Or is it? Do straight people want to hold hands with their platonic friends of the same gender?_

Kili was still mulling over the peculiarities of heterosexual people when she noticed the extras trickling out. She got up and shuffled awkwardly towards Tauriel, who was changing out CDs.

“So what problems are you having and where?” Tauriel inquired, standing up and brushing some stray hair from her braid out of her face.

“I guess… I just freeze up sometimes. Then I forget everything and my feet stop moving and everything just goes…” Kili imitated the sound of an explosion.

Tauriel stepped a bit closer to her. Kili hoped Tauriel couldn’t hear the irregularity of her breathing.

“It sounds like you just need to relax a bit.” Tauriel’s tone was light and teasing. Was she flirting?

“It’s hard to relax when Prince Legolas the Stuffy is broadcasting palpable tension,” Kili muttered.

Tauriel laughed. “Legolas isn’t so bad. He’ll loosen up around showtime for sure.” She tapped the play button on the CD player with her foot. “Let’s just run through it and look for trouble spots. Ready?”

Kili swallowed. “Yeah. Yeah, sure.”

The music began. Tauriel began to recite an approximation of Legolas’s line, smiling a bit when she knew she’d messed up. “It’s occurred to me that… we never really did get to dance that night, did we? It’s really quite a shame… something, something… I bet you’re an excellent dancer.”

“No, I’m afraid you’re mistaken, sir,” Kili replied automatically, smiling and giggling in character. “Uh, ma’am. While I can dance, it cannot be said by anyone that I am any form of excellent.”

“We’ll just have to find out, then, shan’t we?” Tauriel held out her hands. Kili was aware she was shaking slightly as she reached out and took them in her own. Tauriel’s hands were cold, and as she stepped closer to begin the actual dance, Kili caught a faint whiff of pine and peppermint. She’d never felt so nervous--but she found that she was moving through the steps with ease, much better than she’d ever done with Legolas. Tauriel occasionally whispered step corrections, but for the most part it was quiet.

“Your last statement has been proven false, my lady.” Tauriel spoke Legolas’s line rather quietly, since she was quite near Kili’s ear. “You are truly an amazing dancer.”

“You flatter me.” Kili pulled back a bit to be able to see Tauriel’s eyes, also speaking in low tones. “In truth, it’s most likely due to your own excellence.”

“Don’t underestimate yourself.” Tauriel smiled, just slightly. “You’re doing very well.”

“I’m afraid I’m terribly nervous. Could you talk about something to take my mind off my steps?”

“What would you like me to talk about?”

“You could speak of the stars.” Kili knew that wasn’t her line, and judging by Tauriel’s reaction, she knew it too. Kili pressed forward anyway. “Speak of the stars, my lady. I do so love it when you talk about the stars.”

Tauriel recovered from her initial surprise and began to murmur quietly about constellations, staying remarkably in character while discoursing on gas and distance and plasma. Kili couldn’t stop the soft smile that spread across her face as she watched Tauriel’s expressions change and listened to her voice lilting. The music began to slow, as did their steps. Was she actually going to do this? The kiss part was coming up really fast. Would she just stop before it happened?

Kili could feel herself inching closer, very slowly. Tauriel trailed off slightly and- was she leaning closer too? Did that mean…?

The door slammed open, and they jumped apart. Kili awkwardly retreated a bit and rubbed the back of her neck as Tauriel rushed forward to deal with the frantic extra.

_I can’t believe I thought she was going to do that,_ Kili thought ruefully, not looking in Tauriel’s direction as she hurried out. _I can’t believe I thought I was going to do that._

_Stupid older brother._

* * *

“Does anybody know where Legolas is??” Mr. Boggins called, sounding upset. “Or his understudy? Where are they??”

Kili waited awkwardly on stage, wishing her dumb, enormous, itchy dress had pockets to shove her hands into. Sometimes, when Mr. Boggins got like this, she reconsidered her love of musicals. It’d go away soon, though.

“We can’t find them, sir,” Boromir called from backstage.

Mr. Boggins pressed his lips together in annoyance. “Dress rehearsals are not to be missed, did I not make that clear? We have to start noting the time this takes and figure out potential difficulties! Someone find them. For now-- Tauriel, you know the dance in this scene, right?”

“Very well, sir,” Tauriel replied immediately, grinning and winking at Kili. Kili couldn’t stop the blush.

“Let’s go through this, then. Start the timer on my mark.”

Tauriel vaulted onto the stage and walked up to Kili, with that same snarky, gorgeous grin still featured on her face. She stopped a couple of feet away and bowed deeply. Kili could feel her blush intensify.

“Ready, my lady?” she whispered, taking Legolas’s place and standing up straight. Kili could almost imagine her in costume.

“Time,” Mr Boggins barked.

Tauriel began the lines again. Kili fell into character, trying to ignore her pounding heartbeat. Oh, Mahal, she was going to have to do this again in front of everybody, and she didn’t even have any straight thoughts prepared ahead of time.

She didn’t deviate from the script this time, but Tauriel did fine vaguely imitating what Legolas’s speech was supposed to be. Kili caught whiffs of peppermint as they danced, which did not help her straight thinking. The music began to slow again, along with their lines, and Kili became very aware of the fact that her heart was probably beating hard and fast enough for Tauriel to hear it. The people around them seemed to fade. All Kili could think about was Tauriel’s close proximity and what had happened last time she’d been this close. The moment was coming... 

Before Kili’s brain could catch up with her body’s very bad impulse decision, she was kissing her. She could feel her heart pounding, feeling like it was going to rocket out of her rib cage. And then Tauriel was kissing her back, and her hands were cupping Kili’s face, and Kili was stretching up on her tiptoes as far as she could and brushing her fingers along Tauriel’s braid--

Mr. Boggins cleared his throat loudly. “Stop time. Ahem. I’m glad you both got into character so well, but we do need to move on.”

Kili pulled back, slightly reluctantly, before suddenly remembering where they were. She decided that her face was probably just going to remain scarlet for the rest of her life. Several extras had their mouths hanging open unabashedly and Mr Boggins looked decidedly uncomfortable, but Fili-- dressed in black and standing near the back with the rest of the stage crew-- was grinning widely and giving her a double thumbs up. Kili smiled faintly before somebody decided to close the curtains, as the script called for.

Tauriel accompanied Kili offstage and walked her to the dressing room. She’d turned a bit red around the ears herself. While Kili was grateful that the taller girl provided a sort of shield, she was beginning to doubt that she’d correctly interpreted what had happened. Should she pretend it hadn’t happened...?

Tauriel cleared her throat before Kili went in to change. “So, you finally caught on.”

Kili flushed an even deeper red than she thought possible. “I’m sorry, I-- I just-- I thought you were… straight.” She snuck a glance at Tauriel and realized Tauriel was grinning shyly.

“No, I’m definitely not. I’m… well, I’m actually asexual, but I’m definitely attracted to girls too.” Tauriel’s words were all coming out in a rush now, and both her cheeks and her ears were turning as red as Kili’s. “I tried to drop hints as often as possible, but I wasn’t sure and I was kind of scared--”

“I was too,” KIli said softly, smiling. “I- I’m glad we took the risk.”

“Even if it was onstage.” They both chuckled slightly.

“So. Uh, after the performance… do you want to walk down to that cafe a couple of streets over? I haven’t been there yet, and I… I think we have a lot to talk about.”

“I haven’t either.” Tauriel’s smile was warm and shy, so different from when she was flirting. “That sounds great.”

Kili pushed the door to the changing room open, grinning to herself without restraint. _She’s not straight._

 


End file.
